I think we all think about calling in sick sometimes.  I know I do.  And I have employees that do it sometimes.  Unless it leaves us in a bind, I really don't mind if someone uses a "mental health day."  Afterall, we are a mental health center!  And, let's face it, some days it would be better off for all of those involved if we just stayed home that day!  I found this "calling in sick" scenario while cleaning out my email yesterday and thought it was a good one....

Subject: EMPLOYEE CALLING IN SICK

Employee....."I'm sorry but I can't come in today. My doctor says I suffer
from Anal Glaucoma."


Boss........"Anal Glaucoma? What's that?"


Employee...."I just can't see my ass coming to work!"

The holidays brought some time to reflect, which can be a good thing, but can also drive you crazy if you're not careful!  I was able to observe family members' behavior and learn a thing or two.  You're never too old to learn, some folks forget that.  I was looking for a quote on character or wisdom but couldn't find the exact one I was thinking of at the time.  I did, however, run across another quote which seemed to fit the situation pretty well.

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.  It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."  -Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

The generation before me are uneducated folks.  My parents barely got a high school education.  Back then, you had to work in the fields or do whatever was necessary for your family's welfare.  Education to them meant being able to read and write.  My parents saw to it that their children got a college education.  I've heard my parents boast that all three of their children got a college education, plus graduate degrees.  Those degrees were made possible by my parent's sacrifices and dreams for their children.  Parents of their generation speak of "higher education", or "advanced degrees" as if it is some lofty thing.  But I was reminded this holiday season that degrees of education, income, class, and geographic location do not constitute a higher degree of integrity, character or wisdom.  Family members who have these "advanced degrees" were observed belittling my parents by me and others.  That stuff just isn't cool in my book.  My Dad has talked to me of how he knows his only son thinks he is stupid and that it hurts him.  My Dad is wise enough to know his limits, but to also know his strengths.  My Dad's strengths go way beyond a dollar sign, a degree, or fancy title after his name.  He has integrity beyond most men I've known.  And my Mom showed me that she too has character above stooping to the level of things I have seen by the so-called enlightened ones of the family.  I was quite proud of my parents for being so cool. 
I wrote this blog yesterday, but tblog screwed it up and it disappeared, so I can't say exactly what I said when I had time to think about it more.  I'm at work now and need to rush, but I think I've gotten my idea across.

I hope ya'll get just what you want for Chrismtas! 

In the spirit of thankfulness, I'll take a moment to stop and give thanks for a few things for which I am very grateful.

1.  my wonderful partner, who is truly wonderful, the miracle of having her in my life is sometimes more than i can think about without taking my breath.  without scaring me to death.  without bringing a tear.  as sick as that all sounds, it doesn't shed enough light to make anyone else understand.   except her.
2.  a warm fire in the fireplace and a cool kitty to share it with tonight
3.  having at least one gay friendly family member....my brother.
4.  my nieces and nephew
5.  my cousin, stephanie, whispering in my eear at a  family function "you 2 make a cute couple"  and then coming to my other ear to say..."but don't tell anbody in my family that I said that"  (referring to me and my grrl...you'd have to know my homophobic/relgious family to be able to appreciate the boldness of that statement)  it made me chuckle.  and made me reliaze that i had underestimated my cousin.  i hate when i do that. 
6.  my new digital camera my parents got me....can't wait to play with that toy!  i have always loved photography. 
7.  my parents love...they ain't perfect but they love me real good.  and they may not be a progressive couple, but they have made some strides.    I love them dearly.
8.  NOT being the hot topic of the family this holiday.
9.  being the black sheep of the family has it's up sides too.    and sometimes you have to just appreciate that status.  somebody has to do it.  and if you are it, then you can't really disappoint folks near as much anymore.
10.  flannel pajamasa and an electric blanket on a cold night.
11.  the pleasure of a good book, or enlightened reading
12.  growth, pain and all

At least I hope it will be!

The holidays can be very stressful, as we all can attest.  I've really been trying to NOT get stressed about the holidays this year.  It's hard to know exactly how to do that though.  It requires giving up some things, and giving in to other things.  Somehow I end up feeling like I'm selling out on myself. 

You see, it's that darn gay agenda thing again.  My gay agenda is that I would like to spend my holidays with the ones I love.  Seems simple enough.  But it's not.  You have your family, your partner has her family, and the two shall never meet.  I go to my family events, she goes to her family events, and we end up getting the leftovers of each other. 

But people say, well, why don't she go with you to stuff and you go with her to stuff.  Our families gift exchanging will not involve our partner.  Sure, the gay friendly, or polite ones of the family will acknowledge my partner, but not in the same way that my brother in law or sister in law will be acknowledged.  So, we'll go with each other to a function or two of the family, but will be apart for much of our off time.  That bothers me.  My sister in law suggested that I just boycott the family functions all together until my parnter is acknowledged as my spouse, but then that would seperate me from my family.  But, if I don't take some sort of stand, am I not in turn saying that what they think is okay in my book?   I've voiced my opinion.  And I'm taken stands before.  It's a long process for everyone involved.  And, unfortunately, we are lightyears away from being "in" the family.  My brother in law will walk out of my family's gift giving frenzy with as much, if not more, than me.  And my partner may get a concession prize from my folks.  My parents spend the same amount of money on their kids as they do their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.  (That just doesn't seem right to me, but my parents say it's so everyone gets the same and no one is left out...they are all family...how nice for them....)  My brother is the only one who treats my partner like family.  They'll give her kids a gift and get her something as well.  You can't imagine what that means to me. 

So, although I'll spend time with the ones I love, it won't exactly be like how I wish it could be.  I'll just try to make the most of it, trying to keep a good attitude, and not allow the ignorance or intolerance of the families to keep me from a Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy kind of Christmas.  I just haven't figured out yet how to do that....but I'm trying....

Happy Holidays everyone!  I hope you too can enjoy good times with the ones you love! 

Ok, more NPR info that was of interest to me....

I heard this story by an antropologist named Meredith Small of Cornell University who told of her study of some certain type of monkey in France.  She started out in this study trying to figure out which males were the favorites among the female monkeys for mating.  Then, she got into the questions of how society usually tells us that it's the guys, not the girls, that like a variety.  That it's the females that like one steady partner.  But what she found in this particular monkey was that the women liked to shop around.  And screw around.  With many different males.  She had four major theories when she was finished....1) the monkeys messed around with different males to make them fight, so that she could mate with the best (strongest) male.  2) that messing around with different males confuses paternity, and that it is known that male monkeys won't harm an infant of his own...so she's trying to keep her baby safe by offering her tail to all the men in the group.  3)  it's a way of keeping her reproductive track active to increase the likelihood of conception.  or 4)  they are doing this simply because they like a variety...because there is no one telling her to act like a lady...she is enjoying herself.  Maybe she's so smart that's it's all of the above!  I hope so!  Go, Grrlmonkey, Go!

It was noted by the anthropologist that from birds to chimps, girls like a variety, in most cases.  For me, I've had the variety, now I'm settled and happy and content with my life companion.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  But, if anyone else out there needs a variety, I'm in favor of them getting theirs.  All too often I've seen women who married their first date and never had other experiences and regret it later on.  It's sad for those types.  So, to the young girls out there, I say, "date a variety and have some fun, you got the rest of your life to settle down."  

Mickey you better watch yourself, cause Mini has been listening to NPR and says your days may be numbered! 

NPR has been sharing news from Boston that "under the right conditions" embryonic stem cells can replenish themselves and could turn themselves into sperm.  Scientists proved this last year when they created sperm in a petri dish and used that sperm to fertilize a mouse egg.  Now, they haven't gotten as far as developing a mouse pup, but feel they are moving in that direction.  Scientists believe that what will work on a mouse, will work on humans.  A team led by a George Daley in Boston's Children's Hospital reports they aren't out to put men out of commission in the reproduction department, but feel the research will answer alot of questions about normal versus abnormal sperm development.  They assure Mickey, and the human males out there, that they are still needed for their Y chromosome.  But there seemed to be a confidence beyond hopefulness about where this info will take us. 

A side note on this story, is the amazing fact that the sperm is the smallest cell in the male body, but yet it holds a complete set of chromosomes and a program to find and fertilize an egg.  Wow!  Our bodies are amazing things, do you ever really stop to think about that?

NPR is in the middle of a 3 part series on The End of Men....check it out at www.npr.org

I stumbled upon this webite of a man boasting of being an agnostic christian.  the idea appealed to me and i've been reading his website when I think about it.  The website has a daily food for thought.  His name is Rich Mayfield and the website is here.....  www.christianagnostic.com  I challenge christians to read it chew on it awhile, and I encourage non christians to read his refreshing words as well.  His not evangelical or anything, just a soul that seems to be earnestly searching....without judgment.  (Lord knows we need some positive christian rolemodels these days).  This is good stuff, folks......in my humble opinion, of course!  I really like what this guy has to say....

December 9

You say you have doubts. I say good. It means you're engaged in the struggle, that you don't take your faith for granted, you take it seriously. One of the most important teachers in my life and a man of great faith and compassion, entitled his spiritual autobiography The Christian Agnostic. I suspect that shocked some Christians. I also suspect you understand what he meant. Agnosticism is simply being without knowledge. There is much we do not know...about life, about the universe, about God. To act as if we know it all seems highly presumptuous, even outrageously arrogant. It seems to me that one of the fundamental tasks of the Christian is to question those who claim to know. Clearly that is what Jesus did. Over and over again in the gospels, Jesus is shown questioning the self-righteous, quizzing the arrogant. A good rule of thumb is to be aware of what questions we are afraid of. Jesus was killed because religious people didn't want their faith questioned. Whenever we respond to questions about our faith with anger, fear or violence we should begin wondering about our own religious integrity. Christianity was born out of compassion. There is no Christianity without compassion. When Christianity is defended with threats, anger or violence, it is not Christianity. You say there is so much you don't believe. I say don't worry about it. I am not being glib. I am trying to be truthful. After all the years I have spent studying the Bible and trying to get to know Jesus, I've come to the conclusion that believing isn't as important as some people say it is. Some of the nastiest people I've ever met say they believe in Christ and some of the most Christ-like people I've known say they don't. I'm convinced following Christ is more about relationship than regulations, more acts of compassion than books of dogma. If we want to experience Christ we should go to where he said he would be...among the poor, the oppressed, the weak and the hungry, in acts of forgiveness, in the love of our enemies, in bread and in wine. Don't spend too much time worrying about whether you believe in the virgin birth or the parting of the Red Sea because you just might miss out on meeting Jesus.

BENTONVILLE, AR—Wal-Mart, the world's largest discount retailer, announced its biggest-ever rollback Monday, with employee pay cuts of up to 35 percent.

Above: A sign announces a Louisville, KY Wal-Mart's low, low wage for cashiers.