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| 1:03 AM |
| 05.31.04 (5:39 pm) [edit] |
That's when the phone rang Friday morning, 1:03AM. It was St Jude's Hospital calling to tell me that one of my employee's had just lost her daughter to leukemia. It was a shock. Catherine had been sick for a few months but nobody could say what was wrong until a couple of months ago. And then, they seemed to have a positive outlook on her prognosis. They found a match for a bone marrow transplant very quickly and she was set to get chemo, radiation and then the transplant. it wouldn't be easy, but it looked like things were okay. They weren't.
I don't think I've ever heard such pain coming from a person that I cared about so much. It ripped out my heart to hear the mother, my employee and friend, telling me the details of the last hours of Catherine's life. She was 14 yrs old, and a really neat kid. The kind of kid that we need more of. The kind that cared about peace and tolerance and love. The kind that would comfort a young lesbian friend who had just been told by the school counselor that she would never be accepted by her parents or the community because she was a lesbian. The kind that would tell that girl that the counselor was full of shit, that she should be herself, no matter what some fundamentalist Christian said in a moment of judgment. The kind of kid that would love the unlovable and hug the unwanted. The kind of kid that would save a stranded animal on the side of the road and bring home yet another pet/family member to raise. She was the best kind of kid a parent could hope to bring up in this world.
I hate this world has lost her, cause we need kids like Catherine. I hope those kids at school will remember her ways and the things she said. I hope they feel her love and compassion all their days, and maybe think about passing that along to those around them. I hope they remember her actions when some kid is being bullied or left out of the inner circle. And try to follow her lead in bringing a little sunshine to the world.
It is awful seeing someone so young die. You just hate to see the parents suffer and mourn their loss. But, today, at the Memorial Service, we left there feeling good. We heard all these loving stories from her family and friends. We heard her favorite music. We saw pictures of a smiling girl with her little friends and her favorite animals. We heard of a girl who was tired of feeling sick all the time and asking for relief, and finally getting it. We saw weeping teachers and fellow students who spoke of the good example they saw in Catherine. We heard of a sweet and peace loving life that passed through this certain small town in Alabama.
I pray comfort for the mother because I know this will be hard. I can't imagine the pain she must be feeling. I pray that she can find comfort in the good life that her daughter had. After all, the mother was part of the reason Catherine was the person that she was. Catherine had seen a good example in her mother. I hope and pray that the Mom finds rest and peace in these things.
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| "Bad people have celebrations too" |
| 05.24.04 (6:24 am) [edit] |
I couldn't believe this comment by Brig. Gen. Mark Kimmett regarding the wedding party that American's attacked by plane in Iraq. At first, the military said it was not a wedding party at all, but a safehouse for foreign fighters. More than 40 people were killed and this Kimmitt fellow says it was not a wedding at all, but it might have been some sort of celebration, and that bad people have celebrations too. I can't believe he said that. What was this guy thinking? And I saw him on the news, he said this with a chuckle. What nerve!
Despite his comments, there was evidence that supported the fact that this was indeed a wedding. There was a video of the activities such as the bride dressed in her white gown getting out of the car, and the decorations of the festivities. And, after the fact, there were fragments of musical instruments found and other evidence to support that the event was indeed a wedding. MSNBC has a photo of a 2 yr old little girl named Kholood who was at the wedding and 4 of her brothers and sisters were killed, as well as her parents. She is laying there with shrapnel in her back from the attacks. So, Mr Kimmitt, I guess you are saying that Kholood is a bad girl.
A 2 yr old innocent girl attending a wedding.
Bad people have celebrations, too? Just who were the bad people in this incident? Who is celebrating the deaths of these people and chuckling at this tragic event like it was a joke. Certainly not Kholood. Certainly not me.
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| Quotes for the day |
| 05.22.04 (8:18 pm) [edit] |
From Eleanor Roosevelt:
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
My own words haven't been very inspirational lately, so I thought I'd use someone else's. I like these two quotes by Eleanor. Considering what I know of her history, I am sure she spoke from experience.
I hate when I let things get to me, but then, I'm only human and it's just a temporary setback. Life is stressful, that's a given. The hardest thing to take is when you disappoint yourself. I've done alot of that lately. Letting things get to me too much, not having the best attitude at work or home or anywhere, not doing things to reduce stress like I need to do, etc. I don't even want to hear myself talk anymore about these things, I just want to do something about it.
I went to this seminar Friday and I sat there listening to these whiny ass people complain about shit. I realized that I spend most of my days doing that very thing, listening to whiny ass people talk and complain about things they have no intention of doing anything about. It gets old. And I sat there thinking, do these people think they are the only one's with problems? We all got shit going on. What makes you think you have it any harder than the rest of us? So, we all have shit going on, the real difference is how we respond to it. So, that's something I need to focus on. The seminar talked about how we do things that "drain" us and things that "fill" us, and the key is having a good balance, making sure we do things that fill us more than drain us. Makes sense, but most of the time we don't take time to do those things that fill us. The draining things come without a thought. But doing things that fill us back up again can take effort. I thought of several things I'd like to do to work on that. I did one of them tonight.....flower gardening. I get a great deal of therapy from flower gardening. There's just something about digging around in the dirt and making your little space look brighter. You watch stuff grow that you had a part in. You feel one with the earth and nature. You see the importance of taking care of the small things that come along while they are still small (weeds), instead of letting them get big and out of control. You see the importance of fertilizing the things you care about. There's all kinds of little philosophies that I get from it that would likely sound corny to anyone else, but it comes in quiet and real ways when I'm digging around in the dirt. I need to do more of that. Writing is another thing that is a "filler" for me. I may not be a great writer, but I get something from it. I gain, whether anyone else does or not. And it helps to clear my head. Even if it is to vomit all over the screen, it makes me feel better afterwards and it's over at that point.
Things to do this week.....less drainers and more fillers.
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| the asshole is back |
| 05.20.04 (4:02 pm) [edit] |
he is back again.....same ole story.....same dance....nothing has changed......nothing has to, because the world revolves around him.....he can check in and out of his kid's lives at his discretion...he can fuck over his family and steal and lie and commit crimes and go to jail and spend all his check on some cocaine but he's still the daddy, he's still the man......crack out, crack down, crack daddy.....but no matter, cause he's the daddy and daddys have rights. daddys don't have to do a damn thing, but they have more rights than me. even in the family. he will always be the exhusband and his family is their family. i am some strange older woman who lives with them. that's it. some wierdo that happens to live with these kids every day. what the hell am i? what do they say? do they say I'm mommie's friend? do they say anything? do I exist? family functions happen, but what am I? family? friends? roommates? housemates? i have no rights. every day i live here and i have no rights to anything that is here. it doesn't exist to the world. not even in our families. nobody wants to acknowledge that we are a family. because we are only a family to ourselves. do you think that if i were a man this stuff would happen? hell no. if i were a man that asshole wouldn't have the nerve to show his face around here or call with his lame ass excuses. momma would bake my favorite pie and daddy would slap my back and talk about sports and women, and everybody would kiss my ass because i'm a man. finally, what we've hoped and prayed for all these years. get me something to drink and buy me something for my birthday and christmas and father's day and on our anniversary. and we'd have a big wedding and all these gifts for the house and all the whistles and bells that go along with it. take my name and be my bride and i'll take up a hobby like hunting or fishing or something like that and everybody will say how i need a break and how hard i work every week, cause i'm a man. no need to keep the kids to give momma a break. women are made for that sort of thing, right? men are made to do their own thing. my sister settled down with a man, and i settled down with a woman. he's expected to be there for family stuff. he's naturally and automatically invited and mom makes his favorite stuff to eat and he is nothing but an asshole. but he's the man. so, we all sit back and let him be an asshole and ruin our meals and family time, because that is her husband and we must respect that. no matter if he respects my sister or not. he is the man. automatic acceptance. automatic inheritance. and yes, i'm angry. can you tell i am angry? it won't matter if it's 30 yrs from now, i'll still be that wierd woman that hangs around and he'll still be the exhusband and the daddy, no matter how many times he fucks them all over. no matter how many times he leaves them waiting for something he'll never deliver. guess who will be there everyday, right here? guess who will see the damage you have caused to your children? who will suffer the consequences of your actions or lack of action? who will see the hurt and anger that you bring? who will see if your behavior transforms your son to look at women with little respect and have that look you wear so well, that smartass look that says you are better than anybody else and everybody else is here to serve you and your needs? or to see if your daughter just tries to find the first guy that comes along to give her attention to, because you never gave her any? will you see that? oh no, you will be nowhere around. you'll be there to take all the credit when you can, and they'll bear your name and have none of your support or love or encouragement. you are the legal parent, the sperm donor, the bad influence, the man, the dead beat dad, the loser who will not work, the luckiest man alive who fucked away high paying government jobs, the cracked out golden boy who lost everything that was fed to him on a silver spoon, and still expects his mommy to clean up his mess. but you are still the daddy.
and who am i? i'm nobody. i don't exist. close your eyes, i'm not even here. don't touch me, i might give you the cooties. don't look at me, i might want to lick you. don't leave your children with me, i might molest them. i might do deviant acts in front of them. i'm just trying to watch a damn movie. and love my partner with all that i am. and be good to her. and be good to her kids. and love them. and live my life. a decent life. and i don't use cocaine, and i won't steal anything from you. and i would never just fail to show up when i was supposed to pick up the kids, or not care enough to make them wait on me for days/weeks/months without a word from me. i'm the one who is here everyday and i say "goodnight" everynight, and help out when their mom has to work. and it's my life, not just a part time job for me. not just a play time once every two months so i can play playstation with the kids, or use my parents money to buy them something to make me look good. no, i help buy water, electricity, toothpaste, toilet paper, and the everyday real life kind of stuff. and i work a full time job, and try to make a good home. and i'll never hurt her and leave her. i will treat her with the wonder and awe that she deserves. but you can't see that. and you'll never let me in.
cause i'm the freak in the women's dressing room, scaring away the female customers who think they've gone into the wrong dressing room. i'm just trying to buy a fucking shirt for $8 for work, so that i can be girly enough to suit you. i don't try to look like a ten year old boy. i don't try to like the clothes that i like, or look the way that i look. i forget how grotesque it can be for you to see. but, i'd rather you just didn't look at me at all than give me that look of disgust. i'm not fucking blind or deaf, i see and hear what you say. i see you cringe and draw up, like i am Lucifer standing there flicking my tongue at you, and you might go to hell for just being within 10 feet of me.
i'm the leper of biblical times. Lesbo leper.
sometimes, i'd rather be totally invisible.
it would make it easier for you.
it would make it easier for me.
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| intersections |
| 05.18.04 (1:12 pm) [edit] |
Flashback: I'm 12 - 15 yrs old and my cousin's aunts asked us to come along with them on a trip to the beach in Florida to babysit. It was my maternal cousin's aunts on her other side of the family, so they were no relation to me. Anyway, the flashback is that these two aunts allowed me and my cousin to drink wine for the first time in a supervised manner. Just a sip to see what it was like. It made me feel grown up and it felt good to be trusted to do something like that. One of the aunts was a lady named Maggie.
Flashback: I just graduated college and started a part time job and got a call from Maggie to see if I was interested in working a temporary job with the State. It was a foot in the door and I was pleased to get the call. It would lead to about 8yrs of employment with the State.
Flashback: I've been working for the State for a couple of years and started having some trouble from the higher-ups at work because of my sexuality. Somebody had it in for me and I had a bad feeling about it. Someone suggested I go talk to Maggie, since Maggie had moved up the corporate ladder and was in upper mgmt on the State level. I went to Maggie and was received with little more than a cold shoulder and a deaf ear. Maggie wouldn't listen to what I had to say, she just said I had to let things run their course. "It looks like they have a good case against you." I ended up getting fired over this stuff and had to get an attorney to win my job back. I did win, but it was a long, hard and lonely road I traveled to get there. Later on, after the fact, Maggie told my mother that she was sorry that she didn't offer to help me, that she didn't listen and didn't realize I was getting railroaded because of my sexuality. She told my Mom that I had been wronged and that she should have helped, but didn't. She regretted it, at least that's what my mother said, Maggie never mentioned that to me. She never mentioned anything to me about it again. Life went on.
Flashback: I'm still working for the State, and things are going well for me. Maggie is on hard times, she's struggling mentally, physically and financially. She is forced to retire early. She hears I have a bed I'm getting rid of. I bought a new mattress and she was wanting my old one. Okay, fine with me, come on over and get it. I was glad to give it to someone in need. Maggie comes up on my porch like we were dear old friends and I can tell she wants to hug me, but I don't feel like hugging her. I'm not mad at her, it's just that I don't feel the need or desire to hug her. So, I don't. No hard feelings, it's just that I only hug people I'm close to. My Mom thinks this is awful. You know, what would people think?
Flashback: Maggie shows up at the mental health center where I work, in need of an assessment for possible commital to the hospital for psychiatric problems. She says she's not uncomfortable with me, knowing me outside of this environment, and I agreed to see her. (I wasn't really comfortable with it, but I was the only one available.) I recommended the needed treatment and she took what I said and thought about it. She ended up getting treatment over the next couple of years. She became unable to care for herself and her family asked my advice on what to do. I handle this with care and offer my best advice, which they took, for the most part.
Flashback: Maggie died a couple of weeks ago. She had complications from diabetes and the dementia got so bad that her body just shut down. I attend the funeral and comfort the family. The preacher says he doesn't understand how God works, but that He knew what He was doing when He gave her such a dreadful disease (dementia). I don't understand that logic. Just what kind of God do you worship? But, whatever, Maggie is no longer suffering, and for that, I am thankful.
Flashback: I'm hearing my Mom talk about how Maggie's sister got a cheap casket for Maggie, and she's saying how awful this is and how water will run through the casket and all this crap. I'm saying, look, Maggie is dead and doesn't care what kind of casket you put her in. I don't understand what the big deal is about getting a cheap casket, making it sound like her sister didn't take care of her like she should have. The family is talking, so I'm sure the community will be talking. Maggie's sister had put up with alot over the years, more than most people have to deal with. And this is the thanks she gets from everyone? She was trying to not spend alot of her father's money on the funeral expenses because he is elderly and in assisted living. But, that's not what people look at....they look at how she picked out a cheap casket.
All these intersections my life has had with Maggie's makes me think about alot of different things. You never know where you might end up. You never know what people think of you, really. You never know when it might be YOU who needs the help. You never know.
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| labels |
| 05.15.04 (8:58 am) [edit] |
I was raised a Christian, a Methodist, white middle class, a good girl, a quiet girl, a smart girl, a tomboy, a freckle faced girl, a basketball player, a softball player, top ten in my class, BETA club member, MYF member (Methodist Youth Fellowship), the funny girl, the virgin girl, daughter of a Union man, daughter of a democrat, daughter of a housewife/mom, daughter of leaders in the church, in a legalistic atmosphere, the youngest of three kids, with the expectations that I would marry and be fruitful. That's with the understanding that I would marry a white male who makes decent money and live within a 10 mile radius of my family and have plenty of children and attend church at least twice a week. Methodist, hopefully, but they would accept a Baptist or Nazarene. But prayed it would not be Church of Christ.
What I have become since that time is a Social Worker who makes it from paycheck to paycheck, barely. I got my BS degree and then my Masters and then I got licensed in my field. I'm a supervisor and therapist and run a small satellite office with a rating of "excellent" on my last evaluation. But I still just barely get by and have student loans I'll be paying on til the day I die, even if that is age 99. I still like what I do, and I doubt that I would have made a different choice.
I am in a successful relationship with someone who loves me and treats me wonderfully. The only reason I'm not married is because laws won't allow me to marry my soulmate, who happens to be a woman. (a wonderful woman).
I don't attend church except maybe ocassionally to the only local church that truly accepts me as I am, and that is the UU church. I have read the Bible from cover to cover and studied in the Greek and Hebrew Bibles to better understand it. I am a spiritually minded person, not a religious person.
I have a passion for social justice issues. My brother says I'm a bleeding heart. I tell him it's better than not having a heart at all. I am against the oppression of anyone. I celebrate the diversity in us all. And love to learn about our differences. I don't really understand the need for so many people to find people just like themselves and draw lines in the sand to make sure you can keep separate from others.
Labels are everywhere. People like to label us and put is in a box with all the assumptions that go along with it. But no two people are alike, from personalities to looks to fingerprints, we are diverse. Why are people so afraid to embrace differences and respect them? What a dull world it would be if we were all just alike. It's impossible.
We all do it. We label others. We make assumptions based on how we label them. We make some of these labels based on experiences, ignorance or what we've been taught by others. But things don't work that simple. All Christians aren't judgmental. All non Christians aren't Satan worshippers. All lesbians aren't men haters. All whites aren't of the KKK. All men aren't assholes. All rich people aren't selfish pigs. All priests aren't gay or child molesters. Just because I don't go to church doesn't mean I don't know the Bible. Just because I have a Master's degree doesn't mean I make alot of money. Just because I'm a lesbian doesn't mean I'm not committed to my relationship and family, just like straight people. Just because I'm quiet a lot doesn't mean I have nothing to say. Just because I live in the South doesn't mean I'm stupid. Just because I'm from Alabama doesn't mean I'm a racist. And so on and so on.
I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, but I'm bright enough. And I think it could be possible to celebrate diversities, learn from them, and agree to disagree in a peaceful manner. Maybe that comes in the next life, I don't know. I hope it exists somewhere.
I think sometimes one of the hardest things in life to do is just be yourself. Because the world doesn't want you to be yourself. And [i]fear[/i] is one of our biggest motivators. Wouldn't it be nice if it was love that motivated us the most, or some other positive motivator?
Footnote: I had this blog running smoothly and then the thing shut down on me, AGAIN. So, I had to redo it and it doesn't flow quite as well. I hate that, but I can't bring it back. I hope you can follow it okay and make sense of it.
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| what's up with that? |
| 05.12.04 (8:42 pm) [edit] |
What's up with people who like to pick and choose scripture and ignore the others?
What's with boys/men and skid marks?
What's with people who spend all their time minding everybody elses business?
What's up with the neighbor who keeps putting their garbage in OUR yard to be picked up?
What's with people who barely passed high school making so much more money than I do?
Why do most tv evangelists have bad hair?
What's with people who don't clean up their own messes? I don't care if your momma DOES work here! You are the one that made the mess, you should clean it up yourself!
What's with people thinking their invisible when they are driving around in their cars? We can see you picking your nose, you know?
Ok, so I've been a little irritable lately, at least I still have my sense of humor and amusing thoughts to carry me through. Is it Friday yet?
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| American stats |
| 05.10.04 (9:20 pm) [edit] |
I recently read an interesting article from the May/June issue of Mother Jones. It was entitled "Stats of the Union. Facts, figures, and uniquely American Absurdities" I won't list them all, but just the ones that were of particular interest to me.
"The U.S. Government is going into the red at the rate of $991,000 per minute."
"The IRS website is maintained by a company incorporated in Bermuda."
"61% of Americans think the biblical story of the world being created in six days is 'literally true.'"
"61% of Americans workers say they received 'no meaningful rewards or recognition' for their work last year."
"Without Social Security, 48% of senior citizens would live in poverty."
"One out of every 115 Americans works for Wal-Mart."
"Wal-Mart offers workers $1,000 in catastrophic health coverage, but they must pay at least $500 a year for it."
"In 2001, 476 more Americans died of malnutrition than from terriorism."
"Alabama became the last state to repeal a ban against interracial marriage - in 2000."
"41% of Alabamans voted against lifting the ban."
"The cost of the Bush tax cuts this year alone is enough to give $93,793 to each of the 2.9 million people who've lost their jobs since he took office."
"Working women make 79.7 cents on the male dollar, down from 80.4 cents in 1983....Female professionals average $10,000 less than their male counterparts. Over a 40-year career, that difference (compounded 10% annually) costs each of them $4 million."
[i]I don't know about you, but these things bother me. These things worry and scare me. These things make you wonder what in the world are we going to do with this country to turn things around. How did we get here? And how can we stop moving in this direction? [/i]
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| Mother's Day Moments |
| 05.09.04 (6:15 pm) [edit] |
This morning, I had sweet mother's day moments when our baby kitty was loving on us so good. Rubbing his face and head all over us as we laid in bed. It was like he was saying Happy Mother's Day to both of us.
Disappointment....
Somehow, my mother had it in her head that I was coming to her church this morning. I never mentioned anything, or had any intentions of going.....but somehow she had that thought and was quick to express her disaapointment in me. She told how she looked back at the doors everytime they opened, all through church, hoping it was me.
It amazes me just how powerful the church is. I was raised going to church at least three times a week and sometimes more. As an adult, I would be a member of church and even a Sunday School teacher.....I think those were the proudest moments in my parent's parenthood of me. They proudly told others what a good person I was and what all I had accomplished. Today, I have still accomplished all those things, and more. The only difference is I don't go to church anymore. I'm basically the same person I was then, but the fact that I quit going to church has made me a disappointment to the family. My beliefs don't fit neatly in a package or in a statement of church membership. And neither do yours, whoever you are. At least I'm honest. I stand for what I believe in.
Isn't that something to be proud of? Isn't that what you want for your kids?
But, they won't see that. What they'll see is what a dissappointment and how awful I couldn't just come to church for Mother's Day and make her feel better for a little while. I can't play that game anymore. I never said I was going, but that is what she thought, so that is how it was.....disappointment once again.
Why is it okay for Christians to expect you to do things and change things for their comfort, when they won't do the same for you? Why is it always everyone else who must always see the light? or make some compromise? or be right?
On a lighter note, I am thankful for my mother and all that she has done for me and for the love she has shown me. I know she is not perfect, but I love her just the same. I am accepting of her, I just wish she would show me the same courtesy sometimes. Nobody loves you like your mother loves you, and for that, I am thankful. It is a bittersweet love we share and I hope that things will sweeten with time. I will never give up that hope. I just can't.
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| oh bother |
| 05.04.04 (9:47 pm) [edit] |
Just some odd things that have bothered me.....
why wouldn't they just let the silly rabbit have some Trix? what was the big deal?
walking in sock feet and stepping in something wet
not having chocolate around when you need it
the kitty sitting on me and leaving a little prize behind that smells alot like shit
the texture of coconut in my mouth makes me want to throw up
being left out of family functions, even if you would have chosen not to go
people who don't clean up after themselves when they make a mess.....like at work when people leave dirty dishes like we have a maid.
the inventions of bras, pantyhose, high heels (or just uncomfortable shoes in general), and anything that is not comfortable that women have been conditioned into wearing.
the way people go on about appearances, and how they would love to do a makeover on you, strongly implying that you are not okay just the way you are. women don't need tons of makeup or anything. women are beautiful in their natural state and should be appreciated as such.
the fact that women make about 79 cents to a man's dollar.
the breathing of very large people
people pulling out in front of you and then turning left right after that
someone who annoys me for no apparent reason
men's hairy pits and necks hanging out of their shirt, or even worse, a tank top
how men think they are cute no matter how butt ugly or gross they are, but expect women to be in tip top shape all the time
married men riding in the cars with their wife and kids and staring lustfully and flirtingly at a woman in the car next to him.
conan o'brien (sp?)
reality tv shows
someone smacking their food/gum
prejudices that blind us
walking in front of a large number of people, or places like Walmart, that makes me really nervous for some reason, a little social phobia.
trying to sleep when it's hot
going to bed when you know you have to get up and go to work
ok, i need to go to bed......
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| This is not the way we do things in America? |
| 05.01.04 (5:42 pm) [edit] |
America's military mistreats prisioners in Iraq.....taking photographs of simulated sexual acts, torturing people with broom sticks and chemicals and urinating on them....and Bush says he is disgusted with this treatment and that this is NOT the way we do things in America.
Really?
Tell that to the American Indians, to the African Americans and any other race or religion or culture that has lived in these United States since it's takeover by the white man.
I take a look at the USA Today and the headline picture is of the Kentucky Derby winner. People betting on animals, to perform for their amusement and monetary gain. Now, THAT sounds very much like the way we do things in America.
On the side of the USA Today, after the big Kentucky Derby story and picture, you'll find a link to the Iraq prisioner's story.
I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it seems like American's have fucked up values of the dignity of any life form. What can we do? Write to our congressman? Do we really have a voice at all? We know the popular vote doesn't really count, our President taught us that when he was elected. The hearts of the American people don't even think we should be in this war. But, who cares? Does the President? No, he's been too busy talking about how he is a Christian called by God to be the President of this great nation on PBS to pay attention to such details.
Did Jesus ever kill anybody? Did he ever declare war? Would he allow the mistreatment of a person, animal or any living thing? Would he urinate on someone or humiliate them in the way the American's have? Did he own a slave or discriminate against any individual?
No, but I do recall Jesus saying something about how his house was a house of prayer but that it had been made into a den of thieves after he found them making money in the temple selling sacrifices. So, in this current equation, do you see any sacrifices being sold? Do you see money being made? Do you really think that is what Jesus would do?
I've always been confused about the role of war in the Bible. In the Old Testament, you had God declaring war on different nations that were against Him. People were led to kill others, which included women and children. But, after Jesus came, there was no mention of war. Did God change? Had those declarations of war been men's passion for his own gain? Had they used God for their own gain? Does that sound familiar to anyone else?
I certainly don't pretend to understand the ends and outs of the Bible. I don't understand our government or our President. I just know enough to know that something doesn't add up. All the pieces don't fit. And the picture that does come together doesn't look very pretty. And to claim to be American and Christian just doesn't have a nice ring to it anymore.
The newspapers in Egypt said it best in their headlines...."The Scandal"....."The Shame."
And the best Bush can do is say that such behavior is not the way we do things in America. Hmmmm, and who does he think will believe that now?
Our nation has done things to embarrass me many times and I feel such shame...and this latest scandal is alot to be ashamed of. And it makes me wonder if we can ever turn things around again...can we ever be proud to be an American again?
Who is going to turn over the moneychanger's table? Who will crack that whip and drive the thieves out of this place? Or is it just too late?
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